Boob armor is an unfortunately common fantasy trope, describing a type of breastplate (quite literally) that fits tightly over a female character’s chest. Usually the cuirasse will be shaped in such a way as to evoke the naked body while still claiming to be chest armor, but the trope can be applied to any misshapen bowl things. A common way to justify the existence of boob armor – also known as tiddy armor by connoisseurs – is to refer to the Archaic era muscle cuirasse, a Greek piece of bronze armor made of two plates, front and back, mimicking an idealized version of the muscles underneath as defined by contemporary beauty canons. As such they look in all ways like the statues of the time.
The armor’s lower edge notably emphasizes the illiac crest above the hipbone, also known as Apollo’s belt. Its use in the Greco-Roman world was limited to officers or parade context, although its looks granted it a disproportionate place in visual arts as well. In the very specific fictional setting of a bronze age society that both values women in high-ranking military position and a keen sense of flair, boob armor should be encouraged. However for any setting that values protection over aesthetic, both the muscle cuirasse and the boob armor have a glaring flaw, in that they are rubbish at deflecting blows.
A good piece of armor, be it plate armor or a tank for that matter, will maximize the angle at which any blow strikes its wearer, reducing the amount of force transmitted and diminishing the risk of injury. Bascinets during the Hundred Years War became so good at deflecting arrows that they will do the same to a .45ACP bullet. This is done by having convex shapes all around your body. A flat armor will take a blow or projectile much harder, increasing the chances of penetration or blunt damage. A concave angle is even worse, and is nowadays known as a shell trap. At best it will redirect a projectile straight towards your chest, at worst a blow to it will drive the wedge shape it forms straight into your sternum. Boob armor by definition needs concave angles, and is therefore a poor design choice.
-mod Burgonet
Related Vocabulary
Sexism: a whole other can of worms.
Bikini armor: add insult to injury by removing what little protection boob armor provides.
Heroic cuirasse: another name for a muscle cuirasse.
However for any setting that values protection over aesthetic, both the
muscle cuirasse and the boob armor have a glaring flaw, in that they are
rubbish at deflecting blows.
dangermousie 